In Malachi 2:11, we read, “Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. The men of Judah have defiled the LORD’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols.” The men of Israel committed spiritual adultery by marrying pagan women and accepting their gods. We must understand that God was not concerned with keeping the Jewish people racially pure, but He was overwhelmingly concerned with keeping them spiritually pure. There is but one race, the human race, but when the men of Israel intermarried with pagan women, they allowed their human relationship to pollute their spiritual relationship with God.
This same idea of spiritual purity is repeated in the New Testament: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?” (2 Cor. 6:14–15). Both Malachi and the apostle Paul are dealing with the same issue: the need for God’s people to be yoked in marriage only with those who also profess belief in the one true God. To do otherwise is not only unwise but also unscriptural.
Young people and all singles, listen to me. Dating is not a sport. It’s the process of selecting a mate and should be treated as such. Passions run high in male-female relationships, and when you put yourself in situations that you are too young or unprepared to handle, you are taking a great and unnecessary risk of falling prey to lust and other natural temptations. If you are not yet ready for marriage, then dating as we know it in American culture is not in your best interests. “But,” you might protest, “isn’t dating the way to find out what qualities I want in a mate and whether a particular person might be a suitable spouse?” It’s true you have to get to know a person, but that’s best accomplished, in the initial stages at least, in group settings that provide safe social contact. But even that is prefaced by the assumption that the person you are interested in is a believer.
Now for those who may be thinking that I am out of touch with culture and modern pressures, remember, it doesn’t matter what we think; it’s what God says about a matter that is important. This includes His instruction concerning the interaction of unmarried people of opposite sexes. Culture doesn’t define morals and standards—God does. For you who are looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, keep in mind that dating a nonbeliever is nothing less than disobedience to God. He has made His will clear in both the Old and New Testaments. If you insist on dating a nonbeliever, you expose yourself to that person’s gods, the things they hold dear, and that can range anywhere from lust to false religion.
In God’s plan of covenant marriage, the first issue to be settled in our minds is that Christian marriage is between two believers. “Missionary dating” has no place in God’s family. Dating is not the place for personal evangelism. Human nature being what it is, it is always easier to be pulled down to another’s level than to pull someone else up to your level. The wise person knows this and refuses to compromise his or her faith by entering into dating relationships with nonbelievers.
Excerpt from “Happily… Even After” now available on Amazon.
