My heartbroken and wounded friend there is a freedom that comes from forgiveness but it’s not easy and requires spiritual power. You can’t do it on your own yet, without it you’re destined to live as the walking wounded all your life but, do what God says to do and He’ll turn the wound to into a scar and you will experience the freedom from forgiveness that justice and apologies can never bring. For those wishing to just forget and move on, for those wishing the pain would just go away, for those wishing God would just wipe away memories without having to do anything, it doesn’t work that way I wish it did, but it just doesn’t. Healing is a lot like patience, it is taught and not caught. You have to take the steps in order to experience the blessings that restore peace, joy, and happiness, but here’s the good news: anyone can! No matter how deep the wound, no matter how painful the past, God can turn the wound into a scar.

I need to offer a bit of a disclaimer here as a point of recognition for some. There are physical things that happen to the brains pleasure center, the basil ganglia, that can hinder a person’s ability to experience a sense of pleasure due to physical or emotional trauma during developmental stages in life (remember the business woman who was emotionally still 12 years old?). This is a reality that is not to be minimized; life hurts and can cause impairments that lead to clinical depression or mental disorders that require medical attention. It is also important to remember that God is able to heal anyone and everyone so these dear ones who have been so hurt by evil can also pray and ask the great physician for His touch on their hearts and minds. I also need to remind those who may be reading to not put themselves in this category unnecessarily. Life events can certainly cause physical reactions in the brain that stall out normal processes, but there are a few things to consider before seeking medical help. 

Ask yourself a couple of basic questions like: Can I experience pleasure or happiness at times? Are there things I can do to make myself feel better? If the answer to either of these is yes, then it is likely that what you need is freedom from forgiveness and not the aid of a Christian mental health worker. To those who may fit in the category of clinically depressed or mentally wounded, seek the help of a Christian mental health expert to assure yourself of a counselor who understands the unlimited healing power of God and not just the teachings and tactics of secular thinking.

My wife and I were trapped in a constant cycle of things either being great or terrible, and nothing in between while working our way through restoring our broken marriage. It was only when unconditional forgiveness was introduced that we finally began to blossom as a married couple. We call it “the moment” because that is what it was. In a single moment of time, when true forgiveness was extended, we instantly found freedom from forgiveness! I say this so you understand that I know this power personally, I know the freedom that comes from forgiveness. 

One last word before we move on. There is an interesting story in Mark 8 where Jesus healed a blind man in a way that was distinct from other miraculous healings Jesus performed. Mark’s gospel says Jesus spit on the ground and rubbed the mud in the man’s eyes, then asked the man if he could see. The man replied; I see men like trees walking. Jesus touched the man again, and he could see clearly. There is an important lesson for us to learn from this, the first being that this was a restorative miracle. The man’s description of “men like trees walking” tells us the man once had sight; otherwise, how would he have known what a tree looked like? Jesus also did creative miracles like turning water to wine, creating bread and fish to feed thousands. But the point of the restorative miracle of Jesus and touching the man twice has cause much speculation over the centuries. Some say Jesus did not release enough power to heal the man the first time and had to “zap” him again, which would deny Jesus omniscience and therefore His deity. Some say that Jesus had to “zap” the man twice because the man’s blindness was so great that one touch couldn’t heal him, which would deny Jesus’ omnipotence and again His deity. The reason that Jesus touched the man twice was simple: to teach us that sometimes a restorative miracle is a process not an instantaneous event.

So if you have asked the Lord to free you from the pain, and it has not happened, do what He said to do in the realm of forgiveness and ask Him again. No matter how hopeless you feel, no matter how many times you tried before, add to the mix extending unmerited forgiveness and start walking in what you’re asking for and let the process of a restorative miracle begin in your life! You don’t have to live your whole life as a captive of a painful and hurtful past! It may be that undeserved forgiveness is the key for you because it lifts the burden of a demand for justice off your shoulders and puts it onto the Lord.

Again, no one, including God, is asking you to act like what happened to you never did; God is just offering you to turn the wound into a scar and your mourning into dancing. 

Excerpt from “Dancing With the Scars” now available on Amazon.

BARRY STAGNER