Among my favorite verses in Scripture are those of David in Psalm 19:7–11:
The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, Yea, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them Your servant is warned, And in keeping them there is great reward.
The lessons here are many, yet the bar is set with the opening statement in verse 7. God’s law is indeed perfect, and it is also sure, right, pure, enlightening, true and righteous, desirable, sweet, cautionary, and rewarding. Considering the issues of life that we all face, that sounds like something we might want to spend some time investigating, doesn’t it?
In light of these verses, I have often said, “If your marriage is more like a battleground than a playground, you’re doing it wrong.” Accordingly, Malachi 2:11 describes marriage as “the Lord’s holy institution which He loves” (NKJV). If, however, your marriage feels more like a penal institution or a mental institution, know today that God has provided in His Word instructions for how every marriage—even yours—can be a holy institution.
Anytime two imperfect people seek to join their lives in a holy union, there is bound to be a learning curve. That is normal and to be expected. Unfortunately, some couples never do learn, and the curve never straightens out. But even in those cases, the plan of God is still perfect.
The Bible’s comparison of Jesus’ love for the church to the husband-and-wife relationship is one of the greatest practical lessons we can apply to our marriages. Why? I’m glad you asked! One of the greatest lessons we learn from Jesus’ love for the church is that no matter how we started out, no matter what we have done in the past, no matter how many mistakes we have made, God will still forgive and accept us as part of His bride. By extension to the husband-and-wife relationship, this means that no matter how your marriage started, no matter what has happened in it thus far, God has a plan that will allow you to live happily even after a bad start, a long string of mistakes, or repeated negative behavior.
But this book is not just for married couples. It is also a resource for dating couples or any “unclaimed blessings” out there waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come along. There are things to watch out for that indicate future problem areas, including some that are definite red flags that ought to give a person pause. I believe in the old adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” While the ordinance of marriage was made in heaven, people often make decisions regarding it without consulting the owner’s manual, and they pay the consequences. Some good up-front wisdom will help anyone who is single and in the process of selecting a mate, which is the second most important decision in a person’s life.
Whether you are interested in having a great marriage, repairing a broken one, or starting out right in one, who better to consult than the founder of the institution whose comments on the matter are perfect, sure, right, pure, enlightening, true and righteous, desirable, sweet, cautionary, and rewarding. Before you begin, however, let me give you one more word of encouragement from the founder of the institution of marriage. In John 13:17, Jesus said, “If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (NKJV). God loves marriage, and He has provided instructions that will allow any marriage to be blessed, even after a shaky start. But we have to do them, not just read about them. To any of you who may be thinking, “You’re a pastor. What do you know about real marriage struggles?” let me say this: my marriage is as real as anybody’s, and my wife and I are two fallible people trying to follow the plan of a perfect Savior. But the fact is, the perfect plan must be applied by anyone who enters this holy institution that God loves in order for their marriage to be the blessing God intended it to be. I hope you’ll decide today to take God’s perfect plan for marriage to heart. May the Lord bless you as you read and apply the biblical truths in this journey of living happily . . . even after!
Excerpt from “Happily… Even After” now available on Amazon.
