Good communication includes learning the effect of the words that you choose when talking with your spouse. Do they hear what you hear? Are they drawing the same conclusion as you, or do your words or the tone of your voice convey an unintended message? Listen carefully for feedback from your spouse. Don’t be distressed if your mate seems to have missed your point entirely. Remember, what is perceived is what was communicated, no matter what you think you said. Go back to the drawing board and try again. Listen carefully to your mate’s perception of your words, and rephrase your comments to more accurately reflect your meaning. You may have to do this several times, but remember, you are sharpening your communication skills in the process. You are showing your spouse that you are willing to listen and to invest the time that it takes to communicate effectively.
When making efforts in the arena of communication, be mindful that the male-female differences are always going to be there. Both parties are going to have to accept that concessions will have to be made, to a degree. Personally, though passionate in my communication style, I am also a bit of a quiet ponderer. Small talk is very difficult for me. I have had to learn, though, that my quietness can be perceived as indifference, so I have to make constant efforts to get outside the box of my own communication style, including at home. Nonetheless, I will always be who I am. I know that, and my wife knows that. There is a happy medium for all to arrive at in male-female communication.
Excerpt from “Happily… Even After” now available on Amazon.
