What I have seen is when life happens many become paralyzed by the event and never heal no matter how much time has passed. I have seen grown men and women with successful careers and loving families weep at the mention of the divorce of their parents 25 or 30 years ago. I have seen intelligent men and women who have been emotionally crippled when life happens and loving caring people abandon all and turn to drugs or drink to mask their pain. Much of the time this is because they never take the first step to Dancing with the Scars! Leaning on God instead of blaming Him. This is one of the most difficult aspects of life to deal with. When an all powerful God could have intervened, but didn’t. The divorce could have been avoided, the disease healed, the betrayal averted, but it wasn’t.
In many such cases God is blamed and even hated because life happened in a way a person didn’t agree with, death came at a time that was unfair for someone we love, faithfulness at work was rewarded with a layoff, a faithful spouse was battered by the unfaithfulness of the other. God you could have done something, is what we have all thought during such times! He did do something dear friend, He told you He will go through these times with you, so don’t blame Him, lean on Him. He is there, He promised He would be. I remember conducting the funeral for a father and his young son who lost their lives in tragic accident one holiday weekend. I remember looking out into a room filled with hundreds of friends, co workers and bereaved family members as they watched the deceased mans wife and the boy’s stepmother be wheeled into the room on a gurney as she was delivered by ambulance to the church where the funeral was held. I remember the scene seemed so surreal, matching father and son caskets tore at my heart, a grieving widow with a broken back mourning the loss of her husband. A mother reeling in shock and sorrow at the loss of her son and ex-husband. I remember thinking; Lord, what can I say? Please give me the right words to say in this overwhelming scene. I remember this scene from almost 20 years ago like it was yesterday and what the Lord prompted me to say to the room was this; “I cannot tell you why God allowed this, I can only tell you that He will help you get through this.” I have to say I have never felt the atmosphere in a room change so dramatically in the space of a few moments and I believe the reason was, the big question was taken off the table and deemed unanswerable. This allowed anger to turn to mourning and deep, soul shaking sorrow to take over the day as it should. When life happens and the recognition that Dancing with the Scars is necessary it starts when accepting there will never be answers to the questions you want answered the most. The actual movement toward the finish line begins when you start leaning on God and not blaming Him or demanding from Him things that we will never know this side of heaven
The next step that must be taken to start Dancing with the Scars is more practical than mental and is best introduced through this adage; Never doubt in the darkness what you trusted in the light. In other words: What you believed when things were good is still true when trials and troubles come. God is unchanging and His character is constant as we go through the ebb of flow of life’s pains and problems.
Excerpt from “Dancing With the Scars” now available on Amazon.