Male-Female Differences in Communication

I have personally noticed something about the different way that men and women communicate. When approaching a group of women, I have observed that though they all seem to be talking at the same time, they all seem to know what the others are saying. But men in a group talk one by one, and the others listen. Why is that? Well, I believe God purposely designed men and women to communicate differently. Men as a whole reflect Ecclesiastes 5:2: “Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.” Men tend to guard their words and use them sparingly. You’ve heard the descriptive phrase “a man of few words,” haven’t you? That is indeed true of many men. So ladies, if you fell in love with the strong, silent type, don’t expect him to turn into “chatty Kathy” after you say “I do.”

On the flip side, men, God front-loaded your bride with more words than you, and she is going to use them. If you’ll listen to her, she will teach you how to communicate with her. Women as a whole tend to speak more words than men and in greater detail. I believe there is a divine reason for that. Titus 2:3–5 says, “Teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” Look at all the things women have to teach! By design, they naturally use, and even need, more words to fulfill God’s plan for them.

These are generalizations, of course, but by and large, men tend to be bottom-line communicators, while women are more detail oriented. Both are valid forms of communication, and both are needed at different times, but we can all grow in our ability to express ourselves in a clear and life-affirming manner.

Excerpt from “Happily… Even After” now available on Amazon.

BARRY STAGNER

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